More death
And anger from a friend misdirected at me
Another ends his
Life
One more woman left behind cradling a bowl of love
Another dumping hers filled with rage
Over a parked car. Silly things. We are. Forgetting what’s important in this short life.
It’s hard to watch.
People bleeding on the ones who didn’t cut them.
And I wonder why
Why is all of this happening now?
I didn’t put this movie on
Who scratched the CD
Playing playing playing over
Close my eyes
Breathe
The breeze feels gentle
The sun is softer than it has been
Beating down
I am still okay
I feel my own sadness
Not theirs
What a relief
We aren’t made to hold more than our own
My storms are starting to move me, no longer hold me
It’s new and strange, standing this steady
Not long ago, I would’ve been a hurricane by now
Blowing away anyone who came near
Violent loud blinding deafening sheets tearing slicing
Pointing to others pain and saying they proved mine too
But I don’t feel the irrational chaotic swallowing tide of pain
Those waters that carried in the old crap that never made it out to sea
What I feel is still.
And the coolness of a breeze on this sunny summer day
This is the pace that my beautiful storm moves me
I am growing
I am not the same as I used to be
Perhaps we live through the old stories again to be another version of ourselves.