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It Starts in Here

Updated: Feb 5, 2023


Author staring off

I know that heart

I know the wounding behind the pride

The desperate desire for stillness in the drive

The seriousness hiding in the jokes

The mask that wears the stoke


I know the playfulness

I know the energy with nowhere to go

The insatiable desire to see more, to know more

To never settle for less than before

To take it all in


Like wind to a wall

Carving out channels

Rivers funneling to a fall


Getting lost in making up for lost time

Trusting in the ability of the body before trusting in the instinct of the heart


Pushing muscles and bones to injury

Trained in discipline and obedience

In a culture that profiles the best

And hands you a measuring stick


It doesn’t matter that no one told me I had to be the best

I saw the way that pedestal was lifted

And I longed


Have we forgotten we are kids

Have we forgotten at one point we already thought we were the best thing in the world

And so we were


Trying to find our own way out of obedience

And then out of rebellion

Don’t stay in either of those cages

This chance to live happens briefly


What is it that you really want?

The impossible question


That joy, that aliveness

It starts in here

It’s not out there


Not in the mountains, or the canyons, or the rivers

Not on the soccer fields, the stages, or the nightclubs


Those landscapes and how you fit into them are a projection and a reflection of what’s inside

Climb the mountains rising and crumbling within you first,

And then you will see


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