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It Starts in Here

Updated: Feb 5, 2023

Author staring off

I know that heart

I know the wounding behind the pride

The desperate desire for stillness in the drive

The seriousness hiding in the jokes

The mask that wears the stoke

I know the playfulness

I know the energy with nowhere to go

The insatiable desire to see more, to know more

To never settle for less than before

To take it all in

Like wind to a wall

Carving out channels

Rivers funneling to a fall

Getting lost in making up for lost time

Trusting in the ability of the body before trusting in the instinct of the heart

Pushing muscles and bones to injury

Trained in discipline and obedience

In a culture that profiles the best

And hands you a measuring stick

It doesn’t matter that no one told me I had to be the best

I saw the way that pedestal was lifted

And I longed

Have we forgotten we are kids

Have we forgotten at one point we already thought we were the best thing in the world

And so we were

Trying to find our own way out of obedience

And then out of rebellion

Don’t stay in either of those cages

This chance to live happens briefly

What is it that you really want?

The impossible question

That joy, that aliveness

It starts in here

It’s not out there

Not in the mountains, or the canyons, or the rivers

Not on the soccer fields, the stages, or the nightclubs

Those landscapes and how you fit into them are a projection and a reflection of what’s inside

Climb the mountains rising and crumbling within you first,

And then you will see


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