Rebellion is just as much of a cage as obedience is.
Both are a reaction to someone else’s way instead of forging your own.
- @glennondoyle Untamed
How fucking true is that.
I’ve spent nearly all of my 20s running.
In pursuit of adventure, adrenaline, the wild, the over there,
always just beyond
I lived out of vehicles for the intentional impermanence
And changed jobs, friends, and states every season
Because fuck stability
Fuck materialism
Fuck our patriarchal culture
Fuck all the systems I didn’t ask to be born into
And fuck anyone and anything that told me who I was supposed to be
Shattered glass
that fits
Along with all the other broken shards
And man that rebellion felt good for awhile
But…
It was always a reaction to someone else’s way.
Last summer when a free woman asked me what I wanted
I fumbled
I had no fucking clue.
But no way in hell was I caged. I was a free ass independent woman.
I had just lost my job, my best friend, my house, and my dog simultaneously.
Something didn’t add up.
Hadn’t I been doing it all right?
Howling into the desert and pissing on glaciers with my two middle finger up.
Yet all that running
Had been lit by the fire of rebellion very early on.
That vision of this wild woman was a fantasy.
And for a very long time I’d been running behind bars
Not getting anywhere
Until I realized I was in a cage
And started taking down every part that kept me enclosed