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Wednesday Night

Updated: Sep 4, 2022

The veteran is afraid of his anger.


It’s his turn in the circle to talk

"You talk about healthy anger” he goes on to say

with his shoulders pulled up to his ears and his arms crossed tightly across his chest

He's rocking back and forth


"But what does that look like?”

“Because I can't go there!

I can't!"

he screams

"When I do, people get hurt.”

“Children get abused."

He points his arms like a gun.

He has no idea it's seeping out of him already.

The lid to the container he’s been stuffing coming unscrewed

There’s no more room

Some has to be dumped

Or there will be a violent explosion

Shrapnel impaling those closest

The circle is full of people who have felt that fear

and that trepidation

And felt the relief

and the lightness

that come with being on the other side of doing anger work.

A frail looking woman speaks gently “I am not afraid of your anger.”

Heads nod around the circle, and everyone continues to sit there

With him

Holding space

for his very wounded, very scared child heart.

"We'll do it with you." They say. "And keep you safe."

The therapist-in-training is angry towards our broken systems.

The ones that don't protect the children.

The system says - a mother who is doing meth and leaves the baby at home is wrong.

The mother should always take the baby with her.

The act is called Families First.

The therapist lays in bed with his 7 year old daughter reading her bedtime stories

while earlier in the day he sat across from a 9 year old who's been through 14 foster care placements, and endured cruel abuse after cruel abuse.

"It's not fucking fair!" he yells

No, it's fucking not.

He's pissed and there's power in his anger.

It fuels his revolution.

The young mom rages and rips like a hurricane.

She's talking 90 miles per hour

She's feeling powerless over protecting her children from a patriarchal society that violates and dominates.

When she was young her sisters were sexually violated.

One sister spoke out

and was condemned by the family

"You're tearing us apart."

Her 15 year old body took that message on

and developed multiple severe inflammatory dis-eases

that killed her within 3 weeks.

Now this young mother is raising bringing up young girls in this world

and she's terrified.

But she's here

Unlearning so that she can do it better.


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